Within the deepest darkest depths we are not alone. In the midst of our greatest isolation and desperation we may feel hopelessly abandoned. The burdens of life pile tall and wide, crushing us under worry and unhappiness. Despite any claim to be illusion, the burden is individually unmanageable. When we are surrounded by absolute darkness the only light that can be seen, if we can see any at all, is from God. That light, as a miner’s cap-light, is no more than a hair thin glowing filament. Yet it can pierce the darkness with radiating energy and lead the way to hope and the promise of future.
When we see God in the world all we perceive is a tiny thread thin sliver of reality, even if it has the ability to momentarily blind us. Even though God is everywhere and in all things, we never catch more than a tiny fragment of true realization. It is not that God is hard to see; it is simply that we try with our eyes and our minds and not with our hearts. It is like trying to taste with our ears, but sometimes we get it right - at least for a moment.
We emerge from absolute darkness through an instant of blinding surrender. We relinquish the worry and fear of our ego-life and embrace the trust and faith that is required. This in itself is not all that difficult or amazing; but maintaining a constant vigil is hard, and too quickly we are distracted and loose the moment. The flash of the light might turn away, but that does not mean that God is not still there in the darkness. And it is in the darkness of an ever-present current that the true reality exists.
God teaches us that if we struggle with the oppression of our ego, we only accumulate more of it. If we count on our own abilities to alter circumstances then we continue to be lost. It is only when we stop fighting and surrender that the bindings loosen and fall away. Through our struggle we protect our individuality and isolate ourselves with the products of Maya in the form of ego. There is the story of the man who said he would chop off his own head as an act of obedience to God, but when asked to walk naked in the streets of his hometown instead his devotion wavered. It seems so simple when we think about it and so hard when we try.
Blinding is the light from the tiniest glimpse of God. It is uncomfortable. It is disarming. It is grace. It is hard to stand in the light, even when we want it the most, but it is our very want that keeps us from it. No wonder it is difficult to understand that we are what we seek. It is the shadow, the Astitva, whi
